As parents, when our children are young we are the center of their Universe. However, naturally a day comes when our little ones are little no more. We discover they have other, more important people than mom and dad they put
in that center. There are friends or special ones that come before us and that is a natural thing, a part of the growing up process. It also may make our hearts go all tight at losing the important place we had in our children's life.
It may be painful, having to relinquish our Most Beloved Person place but that is also a time of opportunity to let our children live the life they chose and fill
up the empty space they left with our own love. It is again a reminder
that our role as parents is to love our children. Not to be loved by
them. Being loved by our children comes as a natural bonus to being loving to them ourselves. To
preserve the genuine affection we share we need to be
keenly aware if we aren't pulling at or manipulating them to act in ways that make us feel loved. That is sure to
hurt the warm connection to our children we hold precious since it is not a loving act by itself.
Happy Holidays filled with Joy and Love to you all! And if you are sad a child has chosen to spend them with someone else and not at home embrace the sadness and give it love. Understanding your child and where they are at in life, giving them your blessing to enjoy themselves will brighten your spirit in a way having an unhappy child at home never will.
Every
child, (and every human being for that matter) needs to be themselves.
When we don't allow them that and try to mold them into someone who fits our needs and beliefs we open a Pandora box of problems for
everyone involved. The feeling of helplessness in fighting us to be
themselves may turn into tantrums and rebellion for our child. Many of
us parents have had our own rebellious years
and we know the emotions that go with that - it is basically a war for
independence! Unfortunately it can turn to be a self-destructing one too, as many of
us have witnessed too. It is a good thing to look at as parents if we
desire to create a better experience both for us and our children when
they are growing up - do we allow them to be themselves
Join us at Joyparenting on Facebook for ideas and discussion on how to improve our parenting and make it a more joyful experience for us
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